Bondage doesn’t need to be one of these taboo topics in your bedroom. You’d be surprised how many people are into it. So if its something that has mulled about the back of your mind maybe you should try bringing it up to your partner. That doesn’t mean you need to go full throttle in to the back pages of 50 Shades of Grey (thats more sadomasochism anyway truth be told) you can easily start of light and work your way up. If you are brand new to bondage but would like to learn more then keep reading. This is our beginners guide to bondage.
What is Bondage?
To put it simply bondage is restricting someones movement. I’m sure you have at some point tried a little :tie up and tease” before bondage is just ramping it up a little. The most important aspect of bondage is trust. You have to trust you partner to let yourself become vulnerable or in all honestly you wont end up enjoying yourself. Bondage is about mutual pleasure. it is not an excuse for the person who is on “top” to fulfill their own fantasies at the expense of the passive partner.
Why Do People Like Bondage?
There are loads of reason people take to bondage. Believe it or not it helps people to relax. The idea of receiving pleasure without the pressure of having to give it back is quiet and excitable prospect. Some people like to take it a bit further and “play struggle” in their restraints. This can be exciting and build up a bit of an adrenaline rush. Get a blindfold. This heightens other sensations and is the ultimate way to tease. This is all for the “passive partner” in the scenario so for the person that is dishing out the pleasure they get a heightened sense of empowerment, that is why trust is so important and this position should never be abused.
First Time Tips
If its your first time here are some handy little tips to get the ball rolling. Nothing to heavy just little things you can do to see if bondage is for you:
- Try it out with a silk scarf. Why not start slowly sad take turns tying each other up with a silk scarf.
- Tie your passive partner up in something they can break out of if they so wish. Paper chains or even streamers. That way your partner can change position if they feel they want to.
- Skip tying each other up completely and just try out a blind fold.
If after all this you want to take it a step further then Lovehoney have a great beginners set for bondage. You can even use one of these handy Lovehoney Voucher Codes to save yourself some money.
Bondage is something you should try with a partner you love and trust. If you don’t feel safe then you shouldn’t do it. You shouldn’t try this out with someone you have just met. Until you know them better keep your self safe and spend sometime getting to know this person. Take our advice:
- Never let someone bully you into taking part in bondage. It is fin to say know and someone you love and trust would never make you do something you are not comfortable with.
- Talk about it before you do it. Talk about how far you are willing to go and waht types of things you are comfortable with. This will make the whole experience enjoyable for all patties.
- Decide on a safe word beforehand. If at anytime you feel uncomfortable use this word.
- Never tie someones neck. There are collars and other safe ways to do this. Using ropes, chains of scarves to tie someones neck is a big mistake.
- Never leave the “passive partner” alone. They are tied up an it is not safe to do so.
- Have safe sex and never attempt any bondage under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
- If you have never tried bondage before then do go for the hardcore stuff straight away. Start light and work your way up.
Lube can be great fun and its a great addition to any bedroom antics you might have planned. there are many types on the market and how do yuo know which one is right for you. Many people suffer from allergies and have certain skin care requirements so its always handy to do a little bit of research into which type of lubricant is right for you r and your partner.
There are three main types of lubes Water-based, Silicone-based and Oil-based.
Water-based: The main ingredient is water which makes it great for those who have sensitive skin issues. It is also very easy to clean off of sheets and clothes as well as your body. This type of lubricant is compatible with all types of sex toys which is also a key feature. However if you are planning to use water-based lubricant in the shower or bath they will wash right off. Also Water-based lubricants aren’t very long lasting so you might find you have to reapply several times.
Silicone-based: Silicon lubricant have a unique feeling to them. The feel quite silky. In many instances they are also hypoallergenic which is good mews if you suffer from allergies. Silicon Lube absorbs into the skin and is really, really slippery therefore it last much longer than water-based lubes. It will also work in the bath or shower. However if you have silicone sex toys then stay away from silicone lube as it will break down the toys and ruin them.
Oil-based: You can find oil-based lubes in your kitchen. Coconut oil and olive oil are great examples but do not use them with condoms. Oil based lubes will make condoms tear and therefore increase the ricks of STI’s and even pregnancy. Oil based lubes will also stain clothes and sheets. Oil-based lubes are great for masturbation.
There you have it a guide to all the different types lubes. All you need to do is get some to keep in your top drawer for your next quiet night in.
Do things feel a bit stale in your bedroom? Is it just the same routine time and time again. Maybe its time to do a bit of research into how you can please your man? The better his orgasm is the more he will want to return the favour. Well thats the thinking anyway. Here are some times for the women out there who want to learn a bit more about what their man likes:
As much as you might disbelieve it men like kissing as much as you do. Kissing releases dopamine which is a key hormone in sexuality. To get a decent supply of his dopamine flowing try biting his lips and tracing the outline with your tongue.
Ears get ignored a lot of the time but biting and nibbling his ears will get him going faster than touching his scrotum. Plus its a lot easier to do bite his ear in public than it is his scrotum speaking of which
This is a really sensitive area so no biting or sharp impacts or you’ll find yourself at stage one again pretty soon. Try gently sucking or giving his scrotum a squeeze. A top tip would be when he is about to climax gently cup his scrotum and massage it with your hand. You can thank us later.
This one is pretty obvious and you knew it was in the list but the shaft of the penis hold a lot more sensitivity than the head. Contrary to popular belief. The internal erectile tissue is deep in the shaft of the penis and you might find that you man likes his penis to be help pretty firmly.
The may serve very little purpose at all but men like to have some attention paid to their nipples. Why not give them a little nibble next time you are stroking his penis and see what the outcome is. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Sometimes the female orgasm is over looked and chalked up to a non starter but let me tell you guys that is not the truth. There is much you need to learn. There are some other things to take into consideration and we have decided to give you some tips on them.
Take Your Time
Many men worry about how long they will last and the opposite is true for woman, they will worry about how long it will take them to climax. This will put a lot of pressure on both of you so it is time to address the situation and relax. Put your partner at ease and tell her that you care about her sexuality and pleasure and that you don’t care how long it takes. This is the most important lesson to learn.
Use Your Talent
It has been discovered by studies at the Kinsey Institute that talent and humour are major turn ons. The more turned on your partner is the more likely she is to climax. Let her know how good you are at sining, drawing etc and find a way to show her you in action. Crack off a few funnies and the rest of the night will go off without a hitch.
If you love the way she looks then let her know. Research shows that women how feel self conscious about heir naked bodies are less likely to orgasm so let her know how beautiful she is and how much she turns you on. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by letting her know how good she looks naked.
If you want to heighten pleasure then you need to have more contact with the places that count. Next time you are having penetrative sex try to bring the base of your penis into contact with her clitoris. Penetrate her deeply. While you do this switch from a in and out motion to and up and down motion. This will stimulate her both inside and out.
Sometimes foreplay is over looked and not to point any elbows or anything but generally its the guy who wants to “plow” through. The fact of the mater is that foreplay is key for a female to reach climax and the more it is ignore the less likely you are to fulfill your partner fully. With that in mind here are some times to spice up your foreplay game.
Why not kick things off with a sensual massage. Massage the full length of here legs. You might not think it but the feet are very closely linked to sexual pleasure. Why not massage her feet and home in the toes. Stretching them all out individually.
Spend some time talking to your partner about some of the things she likes. Why not bring it up in the mid morning and continue the conversation in snippets throughout the day. You’ll find that it will be playing in both your minds when it comes to night time and you will both feel the benefit.
A Little Tenderness
The Clitoris is a very sensitive place and while it should have quite a bit of your attention but don’t focus on it directly. This can sometimes be quite painful. Instead tease the clitoris by focusing on it and then shifting your attention to the clitoral hood and the sides. This is especially true during oral sex.
If you are worried about climaxing too soon then start trying to become more aware of your orgasmic sensation. On the road to your orgasm there will be a few telltale signs you should take heed of. It is hard for a male to stop the process when the orgasm starts so being aware of your body will help you to last longer. Another tip for lasting longer when you become aware of orgasmic sensations the penetrate her deeply. Press your pelvic bone against her and start a rocking motion. This wont be stimulating for you but it may be for her.